Make This Go On Forever
by leyton-is-lovee
Summary: She hopes somewhere; in that hollow casing that he’s become she’s called out to the old Lucas. The boy that told her he loved her and meant it. The boy that was confident in what they shared. The boy that made her pinks pinker and blues bluer. LP


**I own nothing, not even "Make This Go On Forever" by Snow Patrol.**

Alright, so obviously I'm an LPer, but I have to admit that after this past episode I'm having some serious doubts. How can Mark bring them back from this? And Lucas is pissing me off (I'm sure that's the general consensus) but seriously. He'll wait for Lindsey after she LEAVES HIM AT THE ALTAR, but PEYTON SAY'S SOMEDAY AND HE CAN'T EFFING WAIT!!

Woo – I needed that.

On to the one-shot.

* * *

_Please don't let this turn into something it's not  
I can only give you everything I've got  
I can't be as sorry as you think I should  
But I still love you more than anyone else could  
_

An awkward silence floats around them. They both desperately try to think of something else to talk about. That's kind of like a blow to their egos; they've never needed to think of something to say to each other. The words would flow freely.

They've made polite conversation. Her work, his trip, the only thing they didn't discuss was the weather. Lucas glances at her and furrows his brows. Her face is slightly contorted and he knows she's thinking about something. He opens his mouth and speaks;

"I don't blame you, Peyton."

Her head snaps to look at him before she faces forward again. Her body stiffens as the words leave his mouth. It's like he was reading her mind. "Luke", she breathes out.

"At all; for any of it", his words are sincere.

He really doesn't blame her. He couldn't even if he wanted to. She had stepped back. She gave him up. He doesn't like to think about that day, but it fills his mind regularly. _If what you want is for me to let go, then I'm gonna do it._ And she had, so there was no way this was her fault.

She sighs and pulls her hands from her pockets. She really doesn't want to talk about this, but he seems intent on getting it out there. She takes a breath and speaks;

"I feel bad for you, I feel bad for Lindsey and I feel . . . responsible somehow. And I really hope that doesn't come off as arrogant okay, but I know this hurt you", she wants to kick herself, she's pretty sure that if she could she would. Regardless of the fact that he's hurt her more times than she can count she still hates to see **him** hurt.

_All that I keep thinking throughout this whole flight  
Is it could take my whole damn life to make this right  
This splintered mast I'm holding on won't save me long  
Because I know fine well that what I did was wrong_

He can feel his heart swell as the words leave her mouth. He suddenly has the overwhelming desire to touch her. To feel the warmth of her body anywhere on his. He lifts a hand and grips her arm gently. "She's coming back, Peyton. She loves me and I love her. It's gonna be okay", he says with a soft smile.

The words knock into Peyton like a ton of bricks, but as always, she plasters a smile on her face; one that doesn't reach her eyes. Lucas takes note of the way her eyes fall before she smiles. He doesn't know why he keeps talking about Lindsey, maybe it's so that **he** remembers; like an invisible barrier keeping him from getting close to the one thing he wants most.

His heart's desire.

His heart's weakness.

His Peyton.

_The last girl and the last reason to make this last for as long as I could  
First kiss and the first time that I felt connected to anything  
The weight of water, the way you told me to look past everything I had ever learned  
The final word in the final sentence you ever uttered to me was love_

"I hope so", she whispers.

She's cheating when she says this because she knows how he's going to take that comment. The look in his eyes lets her know she's right. She wants it to be okay, but she wants it to be okay between them. She doesn't want this awkwardness or the underlying tension of what they once were.

She just wants **them** to be **them**.

And so in a way she had completely lied to Max's face the other day. She does want him to be happy, but she wants him to be happy with her. She doesn't want his life to be worse because of her, but at the same time she doesn't care. If he feels bad it's because he knows he should.

And that small, seemingly insignificant emotion gives her all the hope in the world.

His eyes turn thoughtful as he watches her walk away. Her heels click against the concrete pathway. She has always had a grace about her that he admires and that shines through as her words fill his ears. _I hope so._ She wanted nothing but the best for him.

"Can I ask you something?" she asks suddenly. His eyes travel upward and he feels a steady blush begin to rise to his cheeks. He really hopes she didn't notice him staring at her legs. Slowly, he nods.

She plays with her hands and takes a deep breath. Somewhere in the three minute silence that loomed as she walked away from him her mind wandered. She thought about the things he's said in the past and the passion in which he said them.

_I'll be seeing ya._

_Your art matters. It's what got me here. _

_I want this . . . you know. I wanna be here. I wanna have everything with you. I want it all. I want us, Peyton_

_It's always gonna be there isn't it? You and me._

_It's you. When all my dreams come true, the one I want next to me, it's you. It's you, Peyton._

_I love you Peyton. You didn't push me away, I came back for you and no matter how long it takes . . . I'll wait for you._

"How come you'll wait for Lindsey, but you couldn't – **wouldn't** wait for me?"

Her tone and topic throw him off guard. Of all the things he thought she would want do ask, he never thought this would leave her mouth. It's a heavy subject; one he isn't sure he can talk about while trying to be strong.

This is Peyton and Lucas talking about the past and that never has a good outcome. She either throws something or he kisses her. A quick glace of the surroundings makes him realize that there's nothing she can pick up and throw and while that soothes his nerves, it also only leaves one other outcome.

Him kissing her.

"What are you talking about?" he asks as he laughs a bit nervously.

"She left you at the altar, Lucas. She said yes and than ripped that all away from you—"

"Peyton, leave it", his voice warns.

Her words are causing his mind to run and he's afraid he'll say something he shouldn't. It may be something he wants to say, but when it comes to Peyton and wanting to say things they're more often than not things he shouldn't say.

_We have got through so much worse than this before  
What's so different this time that you can't ignore  
You say it is much more than just my last mistake  
And we should spend some time apart for both our sakes_

"No Lucas!" she yells. "I've left it for weeks and I'm tired of acting like nothing ever happened between us and I'm sick of acting like I don't constantly question why you refused to wait for me! Why Lucas? Why couldn't you fucking wait?" she asks out of pure desperation.

He can feel his blood heating up and his heart race is increasing. The one thing about Peyton is that she ever really knew when to leave well enough alone. He clenches his hand into a fist and it makes his entire arm tremble.

"You were the love of my life!" he shouts into afternoon air. Peyton blinks in shock before she gently furrows her brows. "Do you know what it feels like to have the one person you love the most tell you they need time to know if they can marry you?" he asks.

Peyton waits a minute to respond. He's trying to make her feel guilty, again. He always has a way of making himself the victim and she cannot play the role of dutiful friend. Not when she still loves him so damn much.

"Do you know what it feels like to have the one person you love the most tell you they wanna be with _someone else_ for the **second** time since you've known them?" she asks in low, wounded voice.

His eyes widen and he has to literally take a step back. He's never looked at it from her point of view. He thinks about her rhetorical question and can't find it in him to argue with her. The curly blonde has always been upfront about her feelings for him.

She lets the silence remain and it's all the confirmation she needs. She hopes somewhere; in that hollow casing that he's become she's called out to the old Lucas. The boy that told her he loved her and meant it. The boy that was confident in what they shared. The boy that made her pinks pinker and blues bluer. So, she hopes that that boy hears her words and lets them bring him out of this cave he's gotten lost in.

Because the Lucas Scott that stands before her is begging for someone to find him, the real him and despite all the anger and hurt and honest to God agony they've put each other through . . . she still wants to be the one to save him.

"I didn't think so", she whispers before turning and walking away.

_The last girl and the last reason to make this last for as long as I could  
First kiss and the first time that I felt connected to anything  
The weight of water, the way you told me to look past everything I had ever learned  
The final word in the final sentence you ever uttered to me was love_

He stands frozen in the same spot, even as she opens the door and closes it behind her. He can't even see the glare his little brother gives him, or the disappointed head shake his best friend sends his way, he doesn't even really acknowledge the fact that Brooke's giving him the finger as she drapes her arm over Peyton's shoulder and leads her out of the room.

The only thing he can focus on is Peyton and her words.

He hears the front door slam shut before he even attempts to move. He completely bypasses Nathan who's on his way his to meet him. Without a doubt he has a few words to share with him, but Lucas can't deal with that right now.

He needs to be a different person.

"Lucas", Nathan's voice yells as he watches his older brothers back.

He feels like he's suffocating. His breaths are labored and shallow. Spots are clouding his eyes and he needs air, desperately. He ignores Haley's voice and Jamie's gentle bellows.

He needs to breathe.

His legs are moving on their own and he isn't thinking about the destination. He just needs to get away from that spot and her words and he needs to be able to breathe. By the time he stops he's standing at the Rivercourt. He places his hands on his knees and gasps for air. The breaths are coming slowly.

"It's alright", a calm voice soothes. She rubs a circular pattern on his back and he can feel his heart steadying to normal. He doesn't look up; instead he walks over to the bleachers and takes a seat.

"What happened back there?" she asks gently. He snorts through his nose and shakes his head. What the hell did happen? His world stopped moving and his heart clenched erratically.

"I don't – it was . . . I think I had a panic attack", he mutters as he runs a hand through his blonde hair.

Haley chuckles and nods her head. "I think you're right", she quips back. He shakes his head and despite his mood a chuckle leaves his mouth.

"I've never gotten one before", he mumbles. "I mean, why would that conversation make me react like that?" he asks. He's setting her up and he hopes she doesn't know that. He needs someone to tell him that it was a fluke. That he's under too much stress because of the abandoned wedding and the loss of Lindsey.

He needs to hear those words because otherwise the voices in his head are right and he isn't sure he can deal with that type of conclusion.

Haley nods and lets her thoughts gather before she tries to speak. Lucas and Peyton haven't always been the easiest people when it came to love. They're both more concerned with the other people in their lives than they are for their own happiness. Brooke, Jake, and Lindsey are prime examples. She knows they loved their other partners, but it paled in comparison to the love they felt for one another; even when they were blind to it.

"You're in love with her, Lucas. And loving her is a scary thing", his best friend says simply.

He raises his head to meet her eyes and furrows his brows. He wants to argue with her. Tell her that she couldn't be further from the truth. That she didn't know what she was talking about. But he looks into her motherly eyes and knows he can't bullshit her.

"Yeah", he says in surrender.

_The last girl and the last reason to make this last for as long as I could  
First kiss and the first time that I felt connected to anything  
The weight of water, the way you told me to look past everything I had ever learned  
The final word in the final sentence you ever uttered to me was love  
_

He doesn't even dare to go near her for a week. He isn't sure what it is about today, but he woke up this morning with a profound need to see her. He threw on a t-shirt and an old pair of jeans and left the house without a second thought. He had walked there with a spring in his step and no care in the world.

Now as he approaches the door he's never felt more petrified in his entire life. What is he going to say to her? What **can** he say to her? Regardless, he's rapping his knuckles against the wooden door and waits for it to be answered.

A minute later he hears the sound of soft footsteps and than the door creaks open. The sight before his takes his breath away; although most would highly doubt that.

Peyton's standing before him in a ripped pair of jeans; one's that he remembers from so many different occasions. She's not wearing any makeup and that's just the way he loves her. Her hair, that's been straight in recent weeks, is curly and pulled into a pony tail, but there are a few unruly pieces framing her face. Her oversized t-shirt hangs down to her knees and the sleeves reach her elbows. There's a stain on it and he knows its baby formula; he isn't sure why, but he has a gut feeling he's right.

And this feels right. Her standing in front of him in her simplest look, with baby formula on her clothing. The motherhood look suits Peyton in a way that he couldn't even imagine it would.

"Brooke got called into an emergency meeting", she mumbles once she notices his stare. "I'm on babysitting duty."

He nods and smirks a ghost of a smirk. "Come somewhere with me", he requests.

She's about to shake her head. To tell him that she can't leave the baby here and she has no plan to bring her out with them. She's about to open her mouth and tell him absolutely not, because she has responsibilities to her best friend; to watch over her child.

And then Brooke's car pulls up.

_  
And I don't know where to look  
My words just break and melt  
Please just save me from this darkness  
__Please just save me from this darkness  
_

She's more than positive that being here, with him isn't a good idea. His face was so broken and tormented that she couldn't find a way to say no. So, here they were; at the Rivercourt. A place that they both held sacred.

They walked in silence and are standing in silence. She huffs and he knows if out of aggravation. She doesn't have anything more to say to him, she got a majority of it out last week, but he had showed up at her door and wanted to talk. So far he had said nothing.

"Lucas", her voice lets him know she's annoyed and before she can continue he cuts her off.

"I'm sorry and I know I'm a few years too late, but I am, I'm sorry for everything, but I couldn't help it. I needed to be angry with you so that I wouldn't pull you into my arms and kiss you senseless. I needed to fuel my passion for you into something other than desire and it came out as anger."

He lets out a noise and sits on the bleachers. He rests his elbows on his knees and puts his head in his hands. She watches him the entire time; stunned into silence. She had always hoped that he still loved her and to hear him say it is quite possibly the most amazing thing that graced her ears. He lifts his head a moment later and his face is flushed.

"I need you, Peyton", he whispers with a strained voice. "I need you more than I've ever needed another person and for a long time that's scared me, but I can't let it scare me anymore", he says as tears gather in his blue eyes.

"Lucas", she whispers as she walks closer to him.

"I hate the person I am now and I hate the person I've been to you and I just – I need to be pointed in a direction", he says as the tears slowly fall down his cheeks. She walks closer to him and places both her hands on his shoulders.

"I need you to help me", his hoarse voice tears at her heartstrings and she pulls his head to her chest; cradling it like a child's.

"I don't know that I can", she whispers truthfully. He shakes his head in protest and grips her hips in his hands.

"You can, you can", he says systematically. "You make my favorite foods taste yummier", he says with a profound smile. One that he hasn't used in years.

Tears prick at the corners of her eyes and she shakes her head sadly. Neither of them are those people anymore. How can they make each other better if they can't even fix themselves?

"Lucas, I'm not strong enough to fix you", her voice breaks off and a lazy trail of tears work their way to her chin. He quickly moves one hand from her hip and wipes them all away.

"You're the strongest person I know Peyton Sawyer", he says honestly and the admiration doesn't go unnoticed.

"Maybe I was, but I'm not anymore. Not after everything that's happened", she says tiredly. His heart breaks because he knows he's the one that's weakened her. He's the one that's made her fragile and cautious.

"Peyton, I need you to save me from this", he rasps out. She runs a hand through his blonde locks.

"You're always saving me, remember?" she teases, but he knows there's gratitude in her voice. He nods his head and returns it to her body. Nuzzling his nose against her stomach.

"Fine then", his words are mumbled against her body and the vibrations send shivers along her spine. "I'll save you, if you save me", his voice is childlike and it causes her to smile gently.

She may be taking a huge risk in trusting him this quickly and with something this severe, but it's Lucas Scott. He's always saved her, and he promised that he always would.

Before she speaks he stands up and captures her lips in the process. It's soft and gentle and it's like turning a new page. The start of a new beginning. They break apart at the need for air, but don't want to lose the contact. Her forehead rests against his and their breaths mingle.

"Okay", she says in agreement. "We can save each other"

__

And I don't know where to look  
My words just break and melt  
Please just save me from this darkness  
_Please just save me from this darkness_

* * *

Let me know what you think!


End file.
